BY THE TIME I LEFT EXXON, ‘The Voices’ or more accurately ‘The Stalkers’ were following me everywhere – Church, job hunting, shopping, the movies, even on a liquor run. Where ever I went – they went. Sometimes, most of the time, getting there before me. I’d spot them standing outside some building or mall with an evil smirk on their faces.
To cope, I started drinking in my last two months at Exxon in order to soothe my shattered nerves. White wine at first and then the hard stuff. The lack of money from losing my job, and not being able to find another one because of the ‘The Voices/Stalkers’, was about the only thing that saved me from becoming a die-hard alcoholic. Sometimes, they’re so good at what they do, they get in their own way.
After leaving Exxon, I signed up with Kelly Girl hoping I could ‘temp’ my way into a new job.
The first ‘temp’ job Kelly Girl sent me on was at Exxon. Needless to say, that didn’t work out. Although, I reported to a different department on a different floor, when Exxon’s HR Department found out I was in the building, they sent me packing before lunch. They made it clear – very clear, that they wanted no part of me.
My second assignment with Kelly Girl got off to an even worse start. I was sent on an assignment to Ochsner Hospital, back then a small hospital on the West Bank. And waiting out in front of the hospital was, you guessed it, ‘The Stalkers.’
I pretended not to notice them, and went inside. But I had noticed them and my knees were shaking so hard with fear and apprehension that I was afraid anyone walking near me might hear. My insides felt like jelly. So, I immediately called Kelly Girl and asked them to send someone else. I wanted to spare myself all that screaming, not to mention the humiliation of being told to leave.
Second only to my experience at Exxon in excruciating pain, was sitting in Church listening to ‘The Voices’ and their railing accusations and downright verbal pornography. It was if screaming filth (narratophilia ) were a drug and the more they got to do that ‘drug’ the more of it they wanted.
I knew I had to cut their access to their drug, screaming filth, so I I stopped attending Word of Faith, Bible Study, and Community Christian Concern. I even cut off my friendship with Donna. This was one battle that I needed to tackle alone because I knew I had no chance of winning if the people around me were busy telling me that I was the insane one.
I also stopped going to Allen’s concerts and any an all social events. Allen, however, never called to ask why. I took that to mean, he wasn’t as interested in me as I’d hoped. Understandable, when you consider the level of evil at which these people operated.
‘The Voices/Stalkers’ reacted to my isolationism by ratcheting up their attack. They began ‘haunting’ the apartment complex where I lived.